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Showing posts from 2016

Selfish

I've been bee bopping around in my own self-absorbed whirlwind of PTA meetings, school events, fundraisers, job searching, Girl Scout leading and the day-to-day of motherhood. I've been going to the library more with the kids and sitting out in the sun just watching them play. We've skipped a night of homework just to snuggle up with some popcorn and watch Hercules. It's been deliciously wonderful.
I've been so engrossed in my own parenting world that I almost feel like my part in creating another family was all a wonderful dream.
I almost have to do a double take when I get texts from Baby Mama about little Peanut these days. I come to a screeching halt and go "OMG!! I totally grew a baby a minute ago!"
Baby Mama has been absolutely amazing keeping me posted on all her sweet little milestones. I got to see her learning to crawl and getting her first tooth. And I'm starting to realize that I didn't just help create a baby. I actually brought a …

Mother's Day

Last night I slept next to a trash can and the little person who almost 7 years ago made me a mother.

Last night that sweet angel laid next to me breathing vomit in my face. Just like when she was an infant, I was jolted awake in the middle of the night by her cries. And when that little creature had to pee I scooped her up and carried her bleary eyed to the potty being careful not to trip over the crutches leaning on the bed. I'd spent my entire Saturday perched on the couch since that sweet cherub picked up a nasty stomach virus in the urgent care waiting room while we were there getting X-rays on her broken foot. It's one thing to have a stomach bug, but it's really upping your game to have a broken foot on top of it so that you can't run to the toilet when you need to barf. I spent 24 hours covered in red Gatorade vomit. And all she wanted in the world was for her mama to hold her. All. Day. And. All. Night. Needless to say I did NOT wake up on Mother's Day fee…

Milking It

Well it's been almost a week since the little Sweety arrived, and it's been the quickest week ever!

To update on Peanut, she is doing so fabulous. Her family is over the moon in love, and she got to meet one set of grandparents. Baby Mama has been sending me pics and updates, and I absolutely love the turn our friendship has taken. I feel like we're just mom friends now, and it's so freaking great. We've been commiserating together in the wee morning hours via text when she's up feeding and I'm up pumping.

Which leads me to my next topic: Pumping.Oh boy.

As I've said before I'm a little bit of a lactivist. I'm working on courses to become a lactation consultant for crying out loud. I nursed both my babies until they were "old enough to ask for it," and I kept nursing them well past the age that was socially acceptable. So yeah...I believe in the magic of breastmilk. No doubt.

However.

I started pumping a few hours after Peanut was bor…

Surrogacy's Dirty Little Secret

Ahh I'm finishing up some French toast room service brought me after a nice afternoon nap. I fell asleep eating chocolate and reading some trash mags a friend brought me yesterday. I had a shower this morning with some doTerra soap that made my whole room smell like a spa. Basically I'm being tortured here. Please send help.

There's a dirty little secret about surrogacy that I'm going to just spill right here. It's hard to talk about but you've been with me on this journey, so it needs to be said.

Recovery from a surrogate birth...is...AWESOME.

After I delivered a human being into the arms of her parents, I was whisked away to a bed all by myself. My only care in the world was if I wanted to wear the hospital gown or my own pajamas. Did I want to shower or wait until later? Here's some water, and can we get you anything to eat?

I just curled up in bed and melted into the pillow.

It was about 2 in the morning when I delivered, and I wasn't asleep until …

The Birth

Sorry I've been a bit quiet. I've been a little busy. ;)

Hmmm..where to start? Well Monday was our midwife appointment, and it was also a very important birthday. My Sweet Pea and Hubs of course!

So we went into the midwife, and really the only info I was interested in was if all my witchcraft and yoga poses had worked. Was the baby's head engaged correctly?

I was running a bit late because I'd taken Sweet Pea to a big giant inflatable indoor playground with her best buddy for her bday. I went in and immediately got my vitals. The nurse weighed me, and lo and behold the scale finally hit 180! That's my magical birthing weight. Weeks ago when I had my first run of prodromal labor I was at 182. Too much. Then the following two weeks I was 178. Too little.

But yesterday I was right at 180. See when I hit 180 lbs, a baby falls out of me. I started my pregnancy with Sunshine at 155. At 180 lbs, she came out. I started my pregnancy with Sweet Pea at 135. When I hit 180, …

Baby Watch 2016: Still Pregs

Yep. Still pregnant! 
I know you'll want that info up front. 
Secondly I need to just shout a big BOOYAH for my instincts! After another really intense bout of prodromal labor I was suspecting that there was a positioning issue preventing us from progressing. 
So I stopped into my midwife for a quick check Friday and lo and behold! Baby is coming down head first but asynclitic! That means Peanut descended on the side of HIS or HER head just like my Sunshine. (I know a lot of folks thought they read a lot of "she"s last post but I can assure you we still know bubkiss about the genitals.)
So my new goal is to get little Nut to get his head in the game. I went to a friggin amazing chiropractor recommended by my doula. He's like a pregnancy wizard. He adjusted the heck out of me and explained every step. He said my right hip was rolled big time. He tested my mobility in each hip and the difference was crazy. 
After he adjusted I could lift both legs equally high, so that was …

Baby Watch 2016: Night Ninja

Woke up in so much pain I was basically in tears last night. I relaxed my whole body and rode each wave. 
I kept the room dark and visualized the baby coming down. It was a painful 3 hours but it did work. 
Worked so well everything once again stopped cold. 
Went back to bed and woke up to no less than one million texts from people wondering when I'm going to call it and just get the pitocin. 
Sorry kids! I'm too much of a hippie. 
I know some folks are worried about the baby, but I can assure you peanut is letting me know she's ok. She's moving and grooving just fine. Trying to get comfy I'm sure. 
I'm not trying to go for martyrdom. Im not trying to be stubborn. I truly and honestly believe there's a biological reason my labor is starting and stopping. All our Ts need crossed. We just need the perfect storm and there's still a missing element. 
My team is fully supportive and amazing. My midwives trust the process. My IPs have the patience of job. My doula h…

Baby Watch 2016: Woke up like whoa

1 a.m. - After dreaming repeatedly that I was in labor I woke up having decent contractions. I tried to go back to sleep, but they were just strong enough for me to question what was up.

Timed those bad boys. 8 minutes apart. 7 minutes apart. 7. 7.

Five. Five. Five. Five.

Three. Three. OUCH.

2 a.m. - Texted Jessica, my doula, and told her if she wasn't too busy to perhaps come over. Oddly enough her schedule was clear at 2 a.m. She said it was time to let Baby Mama know. I texted her and she was ready to head out the door before I got the words fully typed.

By time Jessica was on her way my contractions ramped up. I couldn't talk through all of them and they were slamming back to back. It seemed to be moving really quickly, and I started to get excited and nervous. I started feeling a little queasy and shaky but so ready.

Jessica arrived with her adorable 22 week pregnant self. I keep forgetting she's pregnant with a surro babe herself! She's an angel for agreeing to…

Baby Watch 2016 Update: Pregnant and I know it

I am officially 39 weeks 2 days, which is when I had both of my own babies. So it is official. This baby is never coming out. It's going to live in my womb forever until it's 18 and can legally be on its own. I'm going to ask the parents to come live with me so that they may watch their child grow up within my body. That's it.

Ugh finnneee it probably will come out. One day. But today is not that day. I honestly have never had a pregnancy where I was trying to get the baby out, but I'm starting to wonder about this one. I'm not particularly "miserable" or "done" although the prodromal labor played with my mind a bit. Then last night I had a super good bloody show, so I knew for sure I'd be in labor within minutes. But heeccckkk no. Not even one good contraction has been had since that little sign. So I don't know what to think.

I did go walking around the outdoor fancy swank swank mall today and no less than 50 people looked at me an…

A treat

So unfortunately because there are all sorts of awful people in the world I won't be able to share pictures of little Peanut when he or she arrives. Which judging by the pressure in my rectum could be any minute....
However since you've all been so patient and loyal and wonderful I bestow upon you the gift of song....

And dance...
And hysterical laughter.


http://youtu.be/lrGF5B10YvM

Update Baby Watch 2016

Update:
I woke up with lightning crotch this morning. I was fairly certain the baby was trying to escape out of my actual butt. Contractions came on strong and hard and woke me from a deep sleep. My uterus was going for the gold. 
4 hours later that B acts like nothing ever happened. 
This prodromal labor is insane. It's a total mind game. One minute I swear this is IT. Then an hour later I'm questioning my entire life. What. The. Eff. 
I ran some errands and on the way to get sunshine off the bus I walked out another good bit of baby plug. So that's interesting. 
I've got 3 cookie booths this weekend, and that always seems to get things ramped up. So we shall see! If peanut can hang on until Saturday afternoon that would be great. 
I'll let you know how that plan goes. 
You've all been so patient and supportive I'm toying with the notion of rewarding you with one of the Pregger dance videos I've been sending my friends and family to let them know how pregnant…

Labor Intensive

First and foremost, Paula go to bed. There's no baby yet.

Yesterday things definitely changed. Baby definitely dropped, which explains the searing pain from yesterday morning. Apparently when he or she dropped down they landed on a nerve. Then they screwed their noggin into my pelvis and have left me with the most delightful ache right in the baby maker.

I also decided to do a Girl Scout cookie booth marathon yesterday, which I'm guessing is what led to the intense contractions I had last night. Honestly I didn't do much at the booths because my rockin' mama friend went into beast mode and loaded and unloaded dozens of cases of cookies and crap from my car like 17 times. That woman was on a mission to sell us out of cookies, and we only came home with 17 boxes. We started with about 350 to 400.

So last night after I got done with cookies I really felt the ache and decided to lay down and time contractions. They progressed like normal labor contractions down to 2 minute…

Baby Watch 2016

Hey kids! So let's have a quick recap of the past few days...while I time some contractions.

BEWARE: Do not read on if you are in any way shape or form not prepared for TOO MUCH INFORMATION

Ok

Yesterday morning I went from constipation station to free flowing bowels. - Labor Sign 1

Yesterday evening - I lost a bit of mucus plug - Labor Sign 2

Yesterday afternoon - I found my Gonna Pop shirt that I wore the day I went into labor with Sweet Pea. I've been looking for it for months! Finally found it.
Here's me in labor with Sweet Pea

Got up this morning with a searing pain in my side. Didn't think much of it until it traveled to my lower back and pelvis and camped out there for the rest of the day. - Labor Sign 3

Decided to wear the Gonna Pop shirt. I was going to save it for our appointment Tuesday, but I really love that shirt, and I figured I could wear it twice this pregnancy. I do have a washing machine.

Today I had Girl Scout cookie booths out the ying yang. So I po…

Baby watch 2016

So I'm now 36 weeks pregnant, and I'll officially be full term on Friday. We want nugget to stay in as long as possible, but starting Friday he or she can make a grand appearance and they won't do a thing to stop it! Crazy!
In other news I am now defying gravity...



Then on Tuesday last week I started having some consistent Braxton hicks contractions. They continued to be 8 minutes apart for 3 days so I broke down and called the midwife. 
They basically left it up to my judgment since it's my third rodeo and I knew I wasn't really in labor. But I felt like I had to call since this isn't my kid. I've got to be extra vigilant. 
So I told Baby Mama to talk some sense into little Peanut, and she sent a voicemail, which I didn't listen to. But I did hook it up to my belly beats and played it for Peanut. 
And I'll be darned if my contractions stopped! No clue what she said but that's some kind of mama voice. 
And all was quiet for a few days. Today I laid ar…

The Birth of a Book

I started my journey to surrogacy two years ago this month, and it's been a life changing process that has been filled with so much knowledge and patience and hope. During the matching process with Baby Mama and Baby Daddy I began to talk about what surrogacy was with my friends, family and my children.

Everyone always asks me what my kids think about all this. Do they understand that this baby isn't a sibling for them? Do I think they'll be sad when we don't bring this baby home? Do they get upset when I can't do things with them because I'm pregnant?

Surrogacy is a complicated subject to discuss with lots of adults. They question the ethics of it. They question my attachment to the baby. A lot of grown ups just can't wrap their minds around why a person would do such a thing. Women tell me they could never "give up the baby". They'd want to keep anything growing in their wombs. And I totally get it! But kids are surprisingly easy to talk to.…