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Still pregnant.

Yup. Still pregnant.

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The Journey Begins

I think my love of pregnancy stems from my mother. She always talked about her pregnancy with me as the most beautiful time in her life. She was always so positive and uplifting when describing her pregnancies that I think she partially brainwashed me into thinking pregnancy was magical and wonderful.  My own pregnancies were every bit as amazing as I imagined they would be. I was plagued with morning sickness before I even got my first positive pregnancy test. I had severe backaches and my cankles were glorious. My acne flared up, and my hair got so thick it seemed greasy. People kindly told me I was "all belly", but I think they actually meant that my entire body looked like a swollen gut. But none of it distracted me from the fascination I felt the first time I took a foot to the ribcage. The entire process of growing a human being inside my body completely blows my mind to this day.  I was the crazy pregnant lady who knew what day my baby would grow fingernails or when...
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Mommy and Me

I've been meaning to update since our group psych meeting last week, but I was in crunch mode since we decided on a last-minute trip to visit my in-laws to celebrate our nation's freedom. The irony is not lost on me. So last week we had our group psych evaluation, which I was told about three hundred times is "an industry standard" by the lady doing our psych evaluation. I'm not sure any of us were super opposed to the meeting, so I don't know why she felt the need to assure us that EVERYTHING IS NORMAL!!! lol Umm it made me feel a bit like maybe everything was not normal. But that's psych evaluations for you. I was a little nervous that I was going to have verbal diarrhea and just blurt out all kinds of craziness all over these people, so I made the Hubs meet me there so he could grab a muzzle if need be. I just had so many questions and things I wanted to say to my IM since we have the weird no contact thing going. I just felt so in the dark about ho...
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Which Came First? The Surrogate or The Egg?

Aside from wondering how I'm going to "give up" the baby once he or she is born, people also wonder how I'm going to explain things to Sunshine and Sweet Pea. They're not quite sure how my kids will understand that I'm going to be pregnant for all this time and not bring the baby home.  What's funny is how accepting and understanding Sunshine already is. This isn't her first rodeo with me being pregnant. But I'm pretty sure when I brought Sweet Pea home she didn't really understand that this little squirmy thing was actually the reason I was so fat for all those months.  Also I'm not sure she was sold on the idea of Sweet Pea living with us for an indefinite amount of time. I'm actually still not sure she's sold on the idea, and it's been two years. Sweet Pea is still in a trial period as far as Sunshine is concerned. And while I wanted to give her enough information, I didn't want to overwhelm her with tales of fertility ...
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