Friday, October 9, 2015

Almost Half Way

Just wanted to first give a big shout to anyone joining from my BabyCenter post! I am still picking myself up off the floor that they asked me to write a guest blog post for them about surrogacy.

Again I've gotten 99% love and 1% weird advice/backlash. Apparently there's a lovely woman who goes around Baby Center blogs sharing her "wisdom." She's 100% certain she'd never turn to surrogacy or any other means of "artificial reproduction" to have children. I'm just sad she won't ever have to make that choice. I know that decision is a super fun and easy road for everyone who travels it.

One of my favorite bits of advice she had was making sure I keep in touch with the baby because it will want to know who its "birth mother" is.  Well the baby's one and only mother will be the one taking her home with her father. She'll be up all night snuggling and feeding and changing her. She'll be the one to kiss boo boos and hold her clammy hand as they walk into school on the first day of kindergarten. She'll be elbow deep in poop. That pretty much defines motherhood.

I could be wrong. Maybe I should ask my premie brother if he's constantly in search of the incubator that kept him alive for three months after his birth? I bet he totally is. I know I'm constantly in search of every babysitter I've ever had. Especially the ones I have no memory of because they took care of me as an infant. Psh...riiiigghhhhttt

Anyway enough about trolls! I'm 19 weeks! Almost halfway done, and it's hard to believe. Baby is the size of a mango and thumping around like a little grasshopper. Apparently it can also hear now, which is so lucky for this child because I'm really into 90s rap songs right now, and I'm a really good singer. I'm also starting to get some Braxton Hicks already, which is totally fine and normal. It happened with Sweet Pea around this time as well, so I'm just guessing my uterus is working out and getting swole for delivery day.

Other than that things are thankfully quiet around here. I'm prepping to host my baby brother's engagement party, which is just crazy weird but totally awesome at the same time. I could not have picked a better chick for him to marry. She's seriously textbook awesome, and I can't wait to have a new sister! Plus she looks EXACTLY like Elsa, so my kids automatically think she's magic.

Next week is officially the halfway mark, so if everything could just continue with the smooth sailing that'd be greeeaaaaaatttttttttt.....

Friday, October 2, 2015

Anatomy Scan

Now that my belly has officially popped, and I'm noticeably pregnant-and-not-just-fat, people are starting to ask the question "Do you know what you're having?!" We went to Italy a few weeks ago (it was absolutely amazing but the experience is still surreal.) and a wonderfully animated Italian woman couldn't stop hugging me and rubbing the bump saying Lord knows what in Italian. The only thing I could make out was "Girl or boy?" Everyone is just dying to know what's in my belly. 
Sometimes I tell them it's a kitten, but most of the time I tell them I think it's a human baby.  
I know they're just making conversation, and truth be told when I was pregs with my own children I couldn't wait to find out. But Baby Daddy has talked Baby Mama into waiting for the "surprise" on delivery day. I offered to just throw up some confetti when their first born child came shooting from my loins, but I think they want something a little more substantial. I thought "Well it's a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or 40 weeks. And I like to spread my surprises out. So I was surprised at 20 weeks with the gender news on the ultrasound, and I was surprised at 40 weeks when a real living breathing child was placed in my arms that was all mine to take care of. But hey...their baby their decision. I knew what to look for on the ultrasound, so if I really wanted to know I could definitely sneak a peek.
Then yesterday, as I'm laying there for the anatomy ultrasound, I decided not to look. I always wondered what it would be like to be surprised, but I never had the guts or the will power. I wanted to start calling my kids he or she instead of it, and my relatives needed to know how much pink to buy.
The funny thing is that we bought all "gender neutral" baby gear just in case we had one of each. And I'm also a crazy bra burning feminist, so it shouldn't actually matter if people buy pink onesies for a boy. My own husband looks fabulous in pink and purple, and I'm on a very big "colors don't have genders" kick right now.
So we told the tech yesterday to quickly run over the baby's netherbits. We didn't want to know what he or she was packing down there.
Everything went so great. Baby was measuring exactly on target, and Mom and Dad were overjoyed. I think Mama actually shed a tear. I know I did.
The anatomy scan is always the most fun to me, and this one was no different. It's just so magical to see this little life forming. And they surprised us with a little glimpse in 3D. I think that's what got Baby Mama. She got to see her baby's face for the first time. It was pretty damn moving. It's a very heartbreakingly wonderful thing to be able to watch this woman become a mother. I'm so honored to be able to be there for all these special moments. Surrogacy really is a gift in that you get to witness the creation of a family. It's truly beautiful. 
Little Nugget was kicking around a bit, and it was just freaking adorable.
The midwife met with us and said everything looked great. I got my blood drawn for the AFP, which checks for neural tube defects. And after the appointment Baby Mama asked if I'd like to go to lunch. They wanted to pick my brain about baby things.
Over the largest plate of nachos to have ever been made, I gave them my two cents about the newborn must-haves. I typically tell new parents all you need is diapers, a Moby wrap and a king sized bed. But I expanded a bit to include a car seat and a pack n play, just in case their child actually does that thing where kids shut their eyes for extended periods of time at night. I know they have a name for it, but my kids still don't do it so I honestly can't remember what that's called.
I was flattered that they valued my opinion that much. I think I'm pretty much the most mediocre parent walking around out there, but I guess they think I'm doing something right.
After we chatted it only solidified my feelings that they're going to be amazing parents. Their philosophy seems to be "I'd like to do _______, but we'll see how it goes." That's not rookie stuff. That's level 3 professional parenting right there. I'm impressed. They're way more prepared than I ever was.
Our next appointment isn't for another month, so for now I'll just enjoy these little reassuring thumps the little bell pepper is throwing my way. This week she's the size of a bell pepper. I think I'll keep calling the baby a "she" just because that's what I'm used to calling babies inside me. If it's a boy he can just take heart in the fact that his mother will call him by the proper pronouns once he's on the outside.
And That's it for now! I'll leave you with this picture of our immaculate conception visiting the Pope's house.