Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Back on track

Victory!! Hubs brought home a violent stomach bug yesterday, so he and I spent the night paying our respects to the porcelain gods. All I can say is hooray for two downstairs bathrooms. 

But all that lurching must've awoken my sleeping uterus because she is angrily cramping me right into the start of my cycle!! Hooray!! ....these are strange emotions.

So now that you and Hobby Lobby have learned more than you ever cared to know about my pipes....let the meds begin!

I can start BCPs tomorrow!!!! Not sure how much this affects our transfer date, but I think this was mainly to remind us that nothing with this journey is set in stone.

Ok ok ok uterus...I get it. You and embie are in charge.

But it is GO TIME!

Monday, September 29, 2014


Well as everyone in Hobby Lobby knows I was due to start my cycle Friday. So I called Target Wednesday to make sure they had my birth control pills ready to go. By Thursday I still haven't heard from the pharmacy and I was getting nervous since I'm supposed to start my BCPs on day 2 of my cycle. Saturday. 
Friday we were leaving to go camping. I ran to the doc because I had some swollen lymph nodes, and she put me on a Z pack. I go to pick it up and the pharmacist tells me that they no longer make the brand of BCPs that the doc wrote in my rx. Sooo they were trying to get in touch with the fertility doc to make sure generic is ok. 
Meanwhile I'm wigging because the earliest we can get the generic is Monday. Blaaaarrrggggggg
I tell him go ahead but our whole cycle may be screwed. It's Friday afternoon, and still no sign of Aunt Flow. So I call the fertility doc and they said no worries. Since I'll prob start on Saturday, I can take the first pill Monday and we will be fine. 

Then Saturday comes. No sign of her. 
Sunday. Ummm not even a cramp. 
I've been like clockwork down to the hour. What the crap?
Now as you may know I'm a big Bob Barker fan. And all my pets and husbands have been spayed or neutered. So I can't figure out what the crap. 
Out of pure morbid curiosity I decide to take a pregger test Sunday night. I guess on the off chance that his boys played Evel Knievel and jumped the gap or something. 
I immediately see nothing, breathe a deep sigh of relief and go upstairs to play with the girls. 
I come down later to grab some water and uhhh

You see it too right?? I felt sick. Oh crap that's a sign too right!? Hubs was at a softball game so I swooped up the kids and ran to CVS. 

We got home and I ripped open the test. I waited exactly two minutes and...

Whew!! In the clear. 

I took another in the morning


So that is the time friends that I learned the lesson of the evaporation line. 

I knew. I mean hubs is manly, but I doubt he's THAT manly. 

So now the only bummer is that my cycle is STILL 4 days late!! I guess this is the portion of our pregnancy journey where we "stop thinking about it."

I'll just relax and let it happen right!? HA 

Right...we'll just try that. All I know is she better show up quick!! I've got an egg to hatch and we can't get this show on the road until the guest of honor arrives. 

Round 3 of the Hurry Up And Wait game continues...

On the bright side, we are still a family of four! Whew!!

Friday, September 12, 2014

Hugs and Drugs

Never in my life have I been this excited to get a box of drugs and needles!! 

So the whole idea of growing someone else's family has always been exciting but until just a few months ago I didn't really think about how I'd get the baby in there. 

I knew I wasn't going the old fashioned route. I mean Baby Daddy seems like a nice guy, but uhhh nah I'm good. I think hubs might charge extra...I mean it's out of the question. (Some of you will get my reference)

Anyway, before all this, I just glazed over the bit about the science behind growing a baby via IVF. Lucky for me I have pals who went through it to conceive their "keepers." Still this first part of the process is the most nerve-wracking for me. Mostly I think because this is a totally new aspect of pregnancy than I'm used to. 

Yesterday was Christmas. Well ok it was more like junkie Hanukkah. A bunch of gifts arrived that will be distributed over a period of time. Through syringes...gulp

Luckily my Baby Mama has been through three egg retrievals, so she assured me that it's nothing a pint of Bluebell and a glass of wine can't handle. She's done the hormone dance already, so I'll probably be texting her in desperation when I'm jabbing my thighs and guts full of these delightful hormones. 

The way it works is we have to trick my body into thinking I'm 5 days pregs. Since Emby is 5 days old, we have to bend the uterine space time continuum a bit. It's science. 

You'd think it'd be easy to trick my body, since my rounded gut already prompts my 5-year-old to ask if I'm with child quite frequently. But I guess just looking fat doesn't automatically trick your uterus. She's a smart cookie. 

So I'll be taking a cocktail of things to send my ovaries on vacation while getting my uterus all nice and cushy. Those little embryos are finicky. They like to have a nice soft bed with feather down pillows and 5-star hotel quality sheets. Ain't no motel 6 junk up in here. Gotta be the Lady Bitz Carlton. 

The lovely part is that Hubs might be traveling a bit during the time in which I'll be jabbing myself full of hormones, which sounds turrible until you realize the monster I turn into when my hormones get cray. It's honestly probably best if he's just gone the whole month. In the interest of our love. 

But Baby Mama is going to have a few single lady moments as well so were tentatively planning to have some girl time. I'm thinking she comes over and we watch Baby Mama together, drink wine and do drugs. Well...she can have the wine, and I'll take the legit baby making drugs. (Btw don't freak. Some of the stuff I'm taking is just antibiotics and prenatal vitamins.) 

That will all start with the appearance of my next cycle! Should I say the word period? Are we adults? Ok nah I like cycle. It sounds less adolescent. 

So anyway we are amped up! Transfer date looks to be great. I just have a few labs to get next week and some minor junk like that. As it gets closer to transfer we will start doing some ultrasounds to check my uterine lining to see if it's luxurious enough for the little Emby. 

Also fun news is that we are scheduled for our pre-birth order hearing. Basically we go to a judge and he is all "hey are you keeping this baby?" And I'm all "hell to the no." And Baby Mama and Daddy are like "yeah we good." And the judge is all "k. Well then as soon as daylight smacks its ass Baby Mama should be there for the assist to catch it and love up on it while surro superstar kicks back with a margarita and smiles knowingly at the sleepless nights that are not hers to worry about. Cool?" And we're all like "hell yeah."

That means they get the hospital bands. They go on the birth certificate. They snuggle up on the little boo and name it and change its diaper and pay for its college. 

And I couldn't be happier for them. I joke a lot about being terrified of newborns, and while it is half true I also know what a wonderful time it is. It's so short, and before you know it they're in kindergarten starting food fights with the entire 5th grade. 

It's all getting VERY real!! So go ahead and send that baby dust our way! We will be on our way to pregger town soon!

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Save the Date!

After a slight mix-up on the dates we finally had our phone conference with the transfer clinic today!!

I knew we were scheduled for noon, but I had some Hobby Lobby things to attend to. Suffice it to say Hobby Lobby shoppers are now aware of the inner workings of my sex life, how fluffy my uterus is, when my next cycle will start and how excited I am to put another couple's baby all up in my lady bits.

The clinic contact was a super nice lady, but I don't think she thought I was as funny as I thought I was. She asked if I was sexually active and if so was it exclusive. I said something to the effect of "Well I'm married with two kids 5 and under, so I'm not sure how 'active' you'd consider me." I had to follow up with "Yes ma'am I'm technically allowed to have intercourse with my husband, and I'm so busted no one else would have me. So yeah exclusive is a good word."

We talked paperwork and blood work and all kind of work. I might be getting a teeny bit more blood drawn to test for chlamydia (sexy), my prolactin levels and something else. I don't know....all I heard was blah blah blah blood work blah blah husband's blood work yaadddaa yaddaaa....want to set a tentative calendar...blahty bla...wait...HELL YES!!!!

We talked it out, and we and the rest of Hobby Lobby did the math and because of where my cycle falls our transfer date will be somewhere near the beginning of November! Right now we're talking November 3, but that could change by a few days depending on Aunt Flow and some uterine lining tests and the moon phases and if Downton Abbey continues for another season. All sorts of factors.

But Baby Mama and I did a serious over the phone happy dance because at least we have a better idea of when our big day will be!!! I've never been more excited to get a box of drugs and needles in my life! Those should arrive in the mail soon. Ok that part...yeah that's a little sketchy. I'm not AS excited about the needles and drugs as the transfer date. But the needles and drugs mean that we're that much closer to transfer!!

Throw some baby dust our way because we're going to get this turkey cookin' come November!!