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Showing posts from May, 2014

Psyching Me Out

So I haven't gotten my calendar yet, but I do have my first appointment scheduled with the fertility clinic. It is the initial consult with the doctor, and the nurse said they might even do an ultrasound to check out my uterus and take some blood. 
I'm a little nervous because this is kind of the threshold. If they find out that my uterus is shaped like Italy or something I could be totally out of this surrogacy game. 
But if all goes well at this appointment then Hubs and I are on to our psych evaluations. Apparently it's a bunch of totally bizarre questions to check and see if I'm crazy. My surro case manager lady said basically if you aren't crazy before the eval then you definitely will be after. 
So I'm just preparing for insanity. 
I'm not sure what they'll ask Hubs at his evaluation, but I assume it'll be something like: How will you handle it when the fertility hormones render your wife bat sh*t crazy and she hovers over you menacingly in you…

Which Came First? The Surrogate or The Egg?

Aside from wondering how I'm going to "give up" the baby once he or she is born, people also wonder how I'm going to explain things to Sunshine and Sweet Pea. They're not quite sure how my kids will understand that I'm going to be pregnant for all this time and not bring the baby home. 
What's funny is how accepting and understanding Sunshine already is. This isn't her first rodeo with me being pregnant. But I'm pretty sure when I brought Sweet Pea home she didn't really understand that this little squirmy thing was actually the reason I was so fat for all those months. 
Also I'm not sure she was sold on the idea of Sweet Pea living with us for an indefinite amount of time. I'm actually still not sure she's sold on the idea, and it's been two years. Sweet Pea is still in a trial period as far as Sunshine is concerned.
And while I wanted to give her enough information, I didn't want to overwhelm her with tales of fertility tr…

I Found My Why

I’ve always been the crazy lady who loved being pregnant. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I never had morning sickness. I can remember filling my boss’s trash can the morning I found out I was pregnant for the very first time. And I had the usual aches and pains that come with putting on a good 40 pounds. But the entire idea of growing a human being is completely magical and fascinating to me.
I got baby fever walking down the aisle at my wedding, but since we were poor college kids we waited four years before trying. I’ll never forget how nervous I was looking down at that little stick and imagining that I saw a little pink line. 
But it wasn’t my imagination. That little pink line started to darken and with it came an adrenaline rush that almost sent me flying through the roof. I was thrilled, and sick, and overjoyed, and sick and eww I was really sick, and so excited to start my journey to motherhood. 
The Hub's face was pretty awesome when I slammed that pee stick down on the t…

The Journey Begins

I think my love of pregnancy stems from my mother. She always talked about her pregnancy with me as the most beautiful time in her life. She was always so positive and uplifting when describing her pregnancies that I think she partially brainwashed me into thinking pregnancy was magical and wonderful. 
My own pregnancies were every bit as amazing as I imagined they would be. I was plagued with morning sickness before I even got my first positive pregnancy test. I had severe backaches and my cankles were glorious. My acne flared up, and my hair got so thick it seemed greasy. People kindly told me I was "all belly", but I think they actually meant that my entire body looked like a swollen gut.
But none of it distracted me from the fascination I felt the first time I took a foot to the ribcage. The entire process of growing a human being inside my body completely blows my mind to this day. 
I was the crazy pregnant lady who knew what day my baby would grow fingernails or when s…