Her Eggs My Basket

The results are in, and I hope this is the last time during this journey I report this. But my levels are finally back down to zero! Hooray! Typically an hcg level of zero is bad news in the pregnancy world. But for us it means that my body is back to normal after the loss, and we can start ramping up to try again. It's ground zero for our next attempt, and I am feeling hopeful and excited. Also with complete perfect timing, Baby Mama and Baby Daddy found an egg donor!! I'm soooooooooooo beyond excited. Baby Mama really seems happy with their choice, so I couldn't be happier for them. This little baby is a puzzle, and the donor was the missing piece. They're still dotting their "I"s and crossing their "t"s with the donor. But I think things are right on track. I'll need to have at least one normal cycle before we start meds for our next transfer. And since their eggs are frozen, they still have to thaw and fertilize them. Then they'll p...

Recovery has gone surprisingly well since the D&C. The bleeding stopped after two days, so I really thought I got off easy. But it picked back up almost a week later. It's just been very light off and on, so I still think I got off pretty darn easy. In the mean time I've been trying to stay busy so I didn't get all antsy to get going again. And it hasn't been hard since my girls are in the thick of school and activities. If I may take a moment to brag, I'd like to just announce that my little Sunshine got a citizenship award at school for this 9 weeks. They have 6 pillars of citizenship, and she was awarded Most Caring.  Of all the pillars that is by far the one I'm most proud of, so I'm very excited she won. The others are things like Respect and Trustworthiness, which are great characteristics too. But if I can raise my daughter to just care about others I think everything else will fall into place. A person who cares about their fellow man is sure t...

Well the cramping stopped almost as soon as it started this weekend. So all was set and I headed into the office yesterday for the D&C. I caught a ride from a friend who had an equally scary doctor's appointment just down the road from mine. That way Hubs could get the girls to school, and so I could have someone to crack inappropriate jokes with so I wouldn't be so nervous. My pal was going in to find out some news about a biopsy, so we cursed our body parts and joked about how sexy of a procedure I was about to have. She told me to ask for a DVD of the event, and to snag her an extra pair of the booties and a gown. Humor. It's how I cope. When I got to the office they took me right back, so I texted Hubs to let him know where I'd be when he got there. He was on his way across town from dropping Sweet Pea at her "happy school." Her last preschool gave her a crazy case of anxiety, and I never could figure it out. But she'd never acted like that bef...

Damnit Uterus! Well the party started rockin' on New Year's Eve, but my friggin' uterus just thought we were doing a regular ol' cycle. I never had intense cramping. I started spotting, got a heavier flow (enjoy that word?), then spotted off into nothing. Derp Derp just regular ol' aunt flo! My agency coordinator did a little prodding with the transfer clinic to get an ultrasound to see What The Actual Eff. So they sent orders and I went in on a Friday for my ultrasound. I had plans to visit Baby Mama the next day, so I was hoping all was well and we could have some closure on the subject. But as the doc waved the magical weenie wand all up in there we saw the sac clear as day. There it was in all its glory just chillin' in the lounge that is my uterus. She asked before she started if I'd had any bleeding at all and I told her yeah, but either I got away with the easiest miscarriage ever (if there is such a thing) or I didn't actually pass anything s...

***TMI WARNING*** A New Year, a new uterine lining. Yes the party is finally started in my lady bits, and I'm oddly relieved. I've been waiting over a week since stopping meds for the show to start without so much as a twinge. I felt morning sick. I got comments from unknowing people about how cute my pregger bump was. And I still felt guilty drinking a cup of coffee. So I decided to schedule an appointment with my general practitioner just to see if we could do a quick ultrasound and see if anything was happening at all. The only appointment they had was for New Year's Eve, and since I didn't have so much as a twinge I figured why not. But the day before my appointment I felt really queasy all day. I've had HORRID allergies with all the cedar pollen, so I just figured my snotty drainage was doing a number on my tummy. So I chilled out all day with the kiddos and took it easy. Then that night, just before bed I went to the bathroom and saw the tiniest little s...

It's been a day and a half since I took my last dose of meds, and all I hear is crickets from my uterus. It's a well known fact that she really likes to hold on to pregnancies regardless of what the fetus decides. But I hope she gets the damn memo soon.  Game Over uterus. Reset.  In the mean time I've been plenty busy with Christmas just days away. I called my mom last night in tears because I was overwhelmed. Not just with the baby stuff but with everything. We just got back in town, but when we left things were so hectic with strep throat, class parties, dance recitals, shopping, gift wrapping, packing and breathing treatments that my house was in shambles.  I 'm no Susie Homemaker, and mess typically doesn't bother me. But I wanted it cleanish for Santa and it looked like we'd been robbed.  On top of that I only had two days until Christmas to whip things into shape, and all the while I was anxiously awaiting a pregnancy loss with no idea what to expect.  Mom...

Tonight is the night. For the first time in many weeks I won't be prepping my needle or lining up my pills.  We are back from our trip, and on the drive I decided that tonight it's time to stop meds. My pregnancy symptoms have pretty much all subsided except for the occasional dizziness. I saw the evidence on Friday, but I still thought what if?  Then over the weekend I realized I wasn't sick anymore and I felt pretty normal. Pretty not pregnant. Pretty sad.  I'm a little scared for tomorrow. I'm hoping the worst passes quickly and that I'll be through the hardest part by Christmas Eve. The clinic said it's hard to say when the bleeding will start because the PIO shots stay in your system for weeks. Ideally nothing would happen until next week after the holidays. But that would mean spending the holidays worrying that every twinge was the start of something.  So I just hope it starts tomorrow and goes quickly. I don't know what to expect because with my ...