Thursday, April 23, 2015

Diagnosis

Well the saline ultrasound went swimmingly. Dr. B blew some liquid up in my lady parts to get a good look at the baby baker, and again she used the word "Beautiful."

So voila! Step one: success. The oven is now preheating, and we are less than 4 weeks away from T Day! And already I'm stocking up on pee tests.

Target had a clearance sale and mommy went bananas.

In other news I went to my own doctor because I'd been having some mildly concerning symptoms. Once a month since I weaned Sweet Pea I've been getting a migraine so bad I can't function. The only time I didn't get these headaches was when I was cycling for our last transfer oddly enough. I also have been extremely fatigued.

Like we're talking every day when I'm driving to pick up Sunshine from school I feel so tired I sometimes have to pull over because my eyes are closing narcolepsy style.

I've also gained a crap ton of weight. Like ridiculous. The part that really pisses me off is that I've been hitting the gym way more than I was and BAM...thunder thighs.

So anyway they prescribed some migraine meds and ran some blood tests. A few days later they call and need me to come in to discuss the blood work. Well dr. appointments require an act of God, so I asked if they could just let me know over the phone. I was sure it was at most mild anemia or some crap. The office visit seemed unnecessary. But the little schedule lady was somber and insisted that there was a note in my chart for me to come in to discuss.

Jiminy Christmas. Fine.

Luckily a good pal of mine offered to watch Sweet Pea so I could get the news in peace. So I drive across town, drop the kid off and head in. I wait for a bit, and the PA comes in and closes the door.

"Well it's very rare that I see bloodwork like this."

Oh shit.

"I mean honestly," she says thumbing through the results.

"You are one of the healthiest individuals I've ever seen."

Apparently every SINGLE damn level on that chart was 100% amazing and I'm healthy as a damn ox. Which yeah is super great news, but two hours and a co-pay later they tell me this when I feel like this basically warranted a phone call.

She then discussed my symptoms and diagnosed me with something I basically already knew I had. It's hereditary. My own mom had it. It's called Motherhood.

I'm apparently tired as balls because I'm trying to get my kids to sleep in their own beds instead of just bunking with them. I'm fat because I'm scarfing their leftovers and eating Chick Fil A like 4 times a week just so I have a friggin playplace and a moment to myself while they enjoy the company of someone under 5'4" tall. The migraines are probably half hormonal and half "Sorry women, the children used all your patience for the month, your brain will now reboot."

So anyway basically I just need more wine and sleep and I'll be fine.

Next up...discontinuing birth control Sunday! Woohoo!