Monday, July 14, 2014

Legalities

We got our contracts today!! I'm so pumped!!

I poured over them the second I got them, and I only noticed a few things that needed adjustment. I think they're just standard templatey contracty stuff that just needs tailored for our specific journey.

For instance it says I'm game for 3 embryos to be transferred. I basically count every transfer as two babies because each egg has the potential to split. So 3 embies could mean 6 babies...which brought us to our next order of business...termination. They had some basic lingo in there about nixing a fetus because of overcrowding, which neither I nor the IPs are game for anyway. We're all about keeping whatever sticks, so that wording had to go as well.

Speaking of IPs, I just don't care that much for the term Intended Parent. It's like oh I was intending to give you a baby, but I'm just going to keep it after all. Nah. I think I'll just call them the Parents.

As I said before I totally nerded out and wrote a children's book as a gift to my future surro baby. The main characters are Mama and Papa Turtle and Mother and Father Gator. It's not Intended Mother Turtle. It's Mama. So I've got a Baby Mama and a Baby Daddy.

There were a few other little legalities to change in the contract, like I had to think about what childcare would actually cost if I were to be put on complete bed rest. At first I was like oh whatever I can just get friends to help out or my mother-in-law to come stay for a week or so. But I guess there is a very real possibility that I could be put on complete and total bed rest for more than a week or two. Especially if we have multiples in there.

So I had to sit down and calculate how much it would cost to hire a sitter in that situation. I choked on the number we came up with, but then I realized that my number was higher because that's my job. There's another place on the contract for my lost wages in case I miss work because of anything pregnancy related. So in that case the number was pretty low. I freelance here and there, but I don't bring in a killing.

I texted Mama to let her know what changes were coming so that she wasn't just blindsided by this big ol' childcare change. But she was really sweet and receptive, so hopefully all goes smoothly with that. She has to talk to Baby Daddy about it since he's the numbers guy. I'm pretty sure if it were up to me and Mama the contracts would be really really simple. She'd be like "Anything you need!" and I'd be like "No Charge! No Charge for any of it!"

But my Hubs is like um wait a sec...we can't naked wrestle for two weeks after the transfer? That's gonna cost you.

The Parents also put in the contract that they're good with having a doula at the birth, which I'm so happy about. I think at first they thought I was asking if we could have a witch doctor deliver the baby and then all have a placenta feast. But I sent them some info, and they get it now.

We got a doula with Sweet Pea, and it ended up saving us money because it was cheaper than getting an epidural. I'd love to have a nice mellow labor and delivery in the birthing center here, but I think the Parents are pretty set on a hospital. Which I totally understand from a first-time parent perspective. I don't know that I would have entertained it when I was pregnant with my first. I'd never been through L&D, so there were just too many unknowns for my own comfort. Now that I've done it twice, and since I did all the hard work at home with Sweet Pea, I'd love to attempt a home birth! But this is their baby, so I'm totally fine with delivering where the Parents are most comfortable.

So the birthing center thing is off the table, but we do get to have a doula! I think we can all have the experience we want. The main thing is to just get a healthy baby in their arms.

So now the Parents just need to chat and see if they're okay with the tweaks to the contract. After that we just sign the dotted line and it's CALENDAR TIME!!!!

I'm hoping we can come up with a calendar that will accomodate our 10-year anniversary trip as well as Sunshine's first week of kindergarten. As I mentioned there is some limitation on the amount of horizontal hokey pokey we can do during this phase, and I probably shouldn't take a bunch of hormones the same week I send my first-born off to school. But we'll just see how it all plays out.

I guess on the bright side I could just blame all my kinder tears on the hormones. Yeah...yeah that's why I'm crying. It's the hormones.

Cross your fingers that contracts are finalized this week! Squeeee!! I can't wait!